What if Harry Potter books were written by George R.R. Martin

In an alternate Universe, the idea of Harry Potter originates in George R.R. Martin’s mind. It leads to the creation of an epic series of 7 books. What exactly does happen in this alternate HP universe?

• Harry Potter knows nothing. He is raised as a bastard by noble Arthur Weasley of Weasley family, who is killed by the prefects on command of Hogwarts head boy Draco Malfoy.

• Bellatrix is secretly sleeping with her handsome brother ‘Ratslayer’ Sirius Black. Ron accidentally finds them doing stuff in Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom, and in turn Sirius throws him off the Astronomy tower. Ron becomes a cripple.

• Although, later it turns out that Sirius was a good guy after all. ‘Things we do for love’

• The Weasley’s are a big family in North. Molly and Arthur Weasley have 6 young kids with variety of talents. All of them have wolves as their patronus.

• Ginny is a tiny fiesty young girl, who likes to spy when her brothers play Quidditch, instead of learning to knit like her mum. She wants to be a beater in Quidditch. Later she goes on to join the secret cult of Chudley Cannons, where she masters the Bat-Bogey hex better than anyone. She then becomes One-who-has-no-name.

• Hagrid says only one word- ‘Hagrid’. Later it’s revealed that once Ron warged into him to save himself from death eaters, and Parvati told Hagrid to ‘Hex the grid’.

• Draco Malfoy is the golden-haired prince, first of his name, head boy of Hogwarts, head of the inquisitorial squad and rightful prefect of the four houses. He thrives because of his all too powerful and rich dad.

• Cedric is gay, and is in a relationship with Cho Chang’s brother, Shin Chang.

• Percy Weasley ditches his brothers and family, and gets his genitals cut off by Barty Crouch Junior. He realizes his mistakes a bit too late, after his brothers die, but then comes back.

• Hermione is Ginny’s elder sister who tries to be the ideal lady. She gets tortured by Bellatrix for a long time before becoming stronger. She goes on to become the head of the Northern Ministry of Magic.

• Dumbledore is the master of counselors at Hogwarts, and the most knowledgeable person in the school. He seemingly supports every head boy and head master that Hogwarts has, but in reality he strives to serve the school.

• Snape is a complex, evil bisexual guy with a pointed beard, who had unreciprocated feelings for Harry’s mom. Now he fancies Harry, and simultaneously hurts and insults him. ‘After all this time?’

• For 6 books, the books create a terror that Dark forces are coming, a villain will come who has extraordinary magical powers. The Dark lord is seen finally in book 7.

• An old prophecy says that a prince is destined to kill the Dark lord. Originally it’s thought that this refers to Neville Longsword, but then it turns out that it refers to Harry. Harry doesn’t want to take any position of power, but has to get prepared to fight Voldemort.

• Voldemort comes for Ron and Harry tries to save him with a confused expression. But suddenly Ginny apparates in front of Voldy and Bat Bogies him. He dies immediately. On the third page of book 7.
• For a while it seems that Bellatrix was the main villain. She sits on the Head mistress chair of Hogwarts for some time, till…

• .. till it turns out that ‘Looney’ Luna Lovegood was the main villain all along. Luna Lovegood is introduced as a lovely girl, who is a bit eccentric and believes in strange mythical creatures. Later, she grows up to follow the path to madness, just like her parents, and burns Hogwarts.

• Oh and by the way, Looney is the mother of fire spitting Nargles, and rides them to burn people.

• Harry falls in love with Looney, and watches with a confused expression as she burns the school.

The motif of the series is: ‘What is dead may never die’

Valar Morghulis… Oops!
‘Avada Kedavra’